Gestation
by Long-ear Jerboa
Summary: She's handled tough things. Ugly bridesmaid dresses, her father's illness, spray-painting an active volcano.
1. Chapter 1

**There's a larger fanbase on AO3 for The Almighty Johnsons, but it takes a while to get an account, so here you go.**

Dawn stops by the pharmacy on her lunch break, visits their toilet, packs the box again, and leaves it in her car without looking. She doesn't want to know yet, because if things get worse, she won't be able to take the rest of the day. So she works through the afternoon, leaves Anders to lock up, and drives home. In all, she hasn't deviated much from a normal day.

A couple hours later, she finally pulls open the box and checks. The pink lines stare up at her, and then she's kneeling over the trashcan. Her entire body is taunt as she vomits her dinner. She promised herself, PROMISED, that she would never let herself get into this situation.

She does not love Lance. But given her track record and the weekends spent at hen nights, she figures the chances of being in love are too small. She does not love Lance, but at the time she thought him better than nothing. But nothing wouldn't have gotten her here.

And now she's looking at him hanging around for the rest of her life. Even if she breaks up with him, she won't be able to cut him off completely. She doesn't want that. But it's what she's been given. Sliding over to a chair, she pulls herself up and puts her head in her hands. She's handled tough things. Ugly bridesmaid dresses, her father's illness, spray-painting an active volcano. Now she just has to handle a baby.

She doesn't want to tell Anders. But he's her boss and she does most of the work. Without her, the business will crumble even further. Not to mention Anders' will have to do his own costume shopping. He walks past her with a "Good morning, Dawnsie", and it's on the tip of her tongue. But she doesn't mention it.

Later, she regrets it. Its not like she can keep it a secret forever. But Dawn spends most of her time with Anders, and having the awkwardness of being knocked up by someone Anders only calls "dickhead" isn't appealing in the least. Especially since he's right.

She doesn't know why she was planning on telling Anders before Lance, who is staring into his refrigerator like food will start falling out of the light bulb. She shrugs on her coat and lets him kiss her goodbye. She's just about to turn to the door when it falls out.

"I'm pregnant."

Instantly, she knows that was the worst way to tell him. No one in her right mind just blurts out something like this. She watches him for a few seconds.

"Oh." Oh? That's what he has to say? "I guess I'll see you tomorrow, then."

He turns away and resumes his foot hunt. Dawn leaves and doesn't bother shutting the door.

Anders swears loudly when Dawn drops a box. The thud reverberates to her desk and rattles the phone. She picks it back up and sets it on the table.

"What's the matter with you today? Spend too much time getting laid last night?" Anders has made cruder and wittier jokes before, but for some reason she starts tearing up. He instantly backpedals. "Shit. Forget I said anything." She takes a shaky breath and watches him shuffle his feet under his desk.

Dawn has never cried in front of Anders, so neither of them knows how to act. Anders comes around his desk and stands in front of her, arms twitching because he's only hugged her twice and both were awful. But God, she needs one right now. Her arms snake around his chest and she pushes her cheek into his shoulder hard enough that she can feel the joint pressing into her teeth. He puts one arm around her shoulder and the other around her ribs. His touch is light and he clearly feels out of place, but he's trying and that's more than she could ask for.

"Dawn?" She can feel his question disturb the hair behind her ear. She hugs tighter and soaks the fabric of his jacket.

"I'm pregnant, and I told Lance a couple of days ago." She gasps. "And now he won't answer his phone and I can't find him at his house or work and I don't know what to do." The last bit comes out with a sob.

Anders' grip tightens on her so that he's actually holding her, and suddenly she's sobbing completely. She's hasn't slept well for weeks and now she's terrified and she's just _so tired. _Anders cheek rests on the top of her head and he starts smoothing a hand across her shoulders. They stay like this until she's done, and maybe a little bit after.

She takes a sip of water from the glass Anders hands her as he sits down. She can see the spot on his shirt where she had soaked through his jacket. He grinds his teeth for a moment and sucks in a breath.

"First thing: have you been to a doctor yet?" She shakes her head. "Alright. You can have some time off for that." He looks like he's mulling something over in his head. "Dawn, have you thought about all your options? All of them?"

"I don't know. I kept hoping it was a fluke, but then I kept getting even more late and I got scared." She gulps and takes some more water. Out of the corner of her eye, he laces his fingers together.

"I know a couple ways to track him down. Do you want me to do that?" Dawn mulls this over. She wants Lance to have to acknowledge that this is half his work. It's not fair that he gets to run away. She wants to so badly, but she can't and he doesn't deserve that luxury. But if she does see him, she thinks she might kill him.

"No. If he can't own up to this mistake, then I don't want him anywhere near me." She puffs air out between her teeth. "Plus, he's a dickhead." That has Anders laughing, all teeth. "I can handle this on my own. I can."

She looks over at him, and he's chewing the inside of his cheek. He opens his mouth a couple times, but doesn't say anything. She furrows her eyebrows.

"My dad was never around much. So my mother went through her pregnancies with just my brothers and me. I saw how hard it was." If this is a pep talk, she thinks, he's failing horribly. "So you don't get to do this alone. You have a problem or need help, you come to me."

She thinks he's lying and expects her to decline, but he holds her elbow to get her to look at him. In all the years they've worked together, she's never seen him look like this. "I 'don't get to'?"

"No." He's still looking at her. She puts her hand over his on her elbow and squeezes it. Finally, he looks away and stands up from the couch. "Now, let's make that doctor's appointment." He carries the phone over from his desk. "Do you know the phone number?"

She pulls it up from her own phone, but still accepts the receiver from him. The next open time slot is during the workday. She makes to refuse, but Anders tells her to take it or he'll make an appointment and drag her there. When she's finished she sets the phone back in its cradle and brushes her hair back from her face. Anders nods and returns to his desk while she starts around the corner.

"Anders?" She stops and turns. He looks up from his computer. "Thank you."

This smile is smaller, and she thinks it might be genuine. "Anytime, Dawnsie."


	2. Chapter 2

Dawn doesn't remember ever being afraid of a doctor's office, or even going to the dentist. This is changing. She's not frightened, exactly. But she feels uneasy, down in her stomach and across her shoulders. She's already been examined, and she's waiting for the last test results to come in. It seems pointless, considering she hasn't had her period in months. It's not like she's going to get more pregnant.

Still, she waits and takes the papers from the doctor and makes her next appointment – this one off work hours. Then she heads back to the office. Anders is on the phone when she walks in. She keeps them both busy with whatever paperwork she can scrounge up. When she's ready to leave at the end of the day, he calls her back.

"Everything alright?"

She could just say yes and leave.

"Why did you – are you – helping me?" I comes out like an accusation, and she's not sure if she meant it that way.

"I'm not telling my childhood story again."

"I still don't understand."

"Why not?"

For a thousand reasons, one of them being that he only cares about himself.

"I just don't."

He looks down at his feet and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I, ah. I." Anders hardly ever stutters, little enough that Dawn can remember each time. "I don't know."

Dawn can see Anders shrink, if it's possible for him to be shorter. Then, in a split second, he shakes himself and makes a joke, breezing past her to start closing up. She thinks back during the drive to her apartment. She knows he was trying to slither his way out of actually answering. The fact that she hasn't already been replaced is strange on its own.

It doesn't matter, anyway. They're not friends. They don't need to share personal details. Most of the time they argue. Dawn is still kicking herself for breaking down in front of Anders of all people. If she held it together for just a little bit longer he wouldn't know that Lance ran out and she could deal with this on her own. Because she can deal with it on her own.

She can.

Anders grimaces as a headache begins forming at the base of his skull. He's been pushing Bragi away more than usual, and the god isn't happy about it. But he refused to let Bragi into the conversations with Dawn. It's getting harder. Now that he's able to persuade more than one person at a time, Bragi's grown stronger. Anders has too, in a way. He can separate himself for longer periods of time. The only problem is that afterwards, he's all Bragi. He tries to time this so that the god is most prominent at night, but he's stubborn. The god has wormed his way into too many of Anders days.

There's still a bad taste in his mouth from his talk with Dawn. He hates trying to explain himself like that. He's not made to share how he _feels_. He takes care of his family when he can, and lets them do the whole sharing thing. They have enough emotions to fill in his space, and they don't give a fuck anyway.

The headache moves up a little bit and Anders fishes through his bathroom cabinet. He downs a couple painkillers with some vodka sitting on the counter and leans his forehead against the wall. He wants to sleep, but Bragi is already whispering in his ear, words flowing out faster than Anders can keep up. He probably shouldn't mix sleeping pills with the alcohol. He also shouldn't keep drinking without getting something to eat.

He accepts this more so in the morning, when his alarm goes off after three hours of sleep and he can't remember what Bragi did exactly, but he's wearing an entirely different set of clothes. A shower removes whatever stench is hanging around him and some breakfast with a couple glasses of water relieves his hangover enough to get dressed and make it to work on time.

Dawn doesn't look at him when he arrives. It's a little odd, but it could have to do with last night. Maybe he ended up calling her. He's done so before. It's just that now he feels guilty about it.

He also feels guilty for pushing his way into Dawn's problems. She can take care of herself, and she's strong enough that this wouldn't stop her. But Dawn's the only good thing he has going for him, and he's never done something in return. And her situation is so human and mortal that there's a little bit of him that enjoys making himself a small part of it. Even if a huge part of him draws guilt from that alone.

He considers having a chat with her during lunch, but his brothers' timing is awful. Axl still hasn't returned home from his father-son bonding trip, and Mike wants to go get him.

"He'll be fine. He talked his skinny flatmate yesterday, so we know he's alive."

"But something could happen. Our father isn't the best caretaker, in case you haven't noticed."

"He doesn't need to be." Anders leans farther back in his chair, rubbing between his eyes. "Axl's twenty-three, Mike. He may be incapable of acting like it, but he's an adult." This might be good for both of them. Plus it keeps his brothers out of his business while he tries to figure out Colin's campaign.

The campaign that is turning out to be a pain in the ass. He has no idea what kind of lawyer Colin is, but he's a terrible candidate. There's no way they're getting this campaign off the ground if the bastard doesn't shut his mouth for five minutes. At this rate, even Bragi won't be able to convince an entire city.

Mike makes some more grumblings into the phone about responsibilities and family. Anders half-listens as he watches Dawn leave for lunch. She wraps her coat around herself tightly and crosses her arms as she bustles out. He hears Mike hang up and blinks at his phone. Whatever he said, Anders hopes it wasn't important.

He supposes he could go after Dawn and try to sort out whatever she has against him this time. But he's already involved enough, for no good reason. Anders has always been sure to never get a one-night stand pregnant. He doesn't do children or families or anything resembling parenthood. He had enough of that when Mike would go out with Robb and Valerie and leave him with Ty and Axl. So there's no logical reason why he's attached himself to Dawn.

She doesn't seem to want his help either. Which is good, because he's shit at advice and support. He's screwed up enough times on his own that it should be obvious. Yet, he can't stomach Dawn struggling through this when she shouldn't have to. Maybe that's the last human part of him planting its foot down.

The jelly is freezing on her skin. Dawn counts the seconds tick by on the clock while the technician searches through her abdomen.

"There is it." Dawn flinches and crosses her ankles. "Very small. You look to be about eight or nine weeks."

She glances over and catches sight of the monitor. She can't see anything. It's just blurry lines and shadows. She was expecting something more dramatic. A visible cause for why she's in this shithole. The technician smiles. "It's beautiful."

She's waiting for a response. Dawn turns back to the ceiling and doesn't smile. "Yeah. It is."

Anders is an hour late getting back from lunch, so she has time to shred papers and think over putting the picture in too. Instead, she shoves in her pocket when she hears Anders at the door. She's determined to get the office back to normal. They are both professionals and will remain only colleagues. Even if one of those colleagues made two trips to the bathroom this morning to throw up.

Besides, Dawn has already put together her plan. She'll carry to term, deliver, and give some parents a child. Then she'll get back to work and never mess up like this again. Easy enough for one person to take. It's simple and by this time next year, it'll be like nothing ever happened.

She can fell Anders watching her while they work. Thankfully he doesn't say anything and they pack up without any confrontation. He's the first one out the door, and she runs into him when he halts just past the frame. He turns around and she scowls as she tries to move past him.

"Dawn, I think I've forgotten something. Why don't you go do a quick check?" He steers her around and gives her a small push back into the office.

"Anders, you never forget anything. I'd like to go home now." She elbows her way under his arm. He's about ready to pull her back in when she realizes what he's doing.

She doesn't kill Lance, but she does hit him over the head with her purse. Four times, before Anders gets his hands on her shoulders and separates them. She goes in for another swing and he pulls the strap out of her hand. He straightens his jacket, clears his throat, and all but runs back into the office. So much for the bravery of men.

Of course Lance would pick the office of all places to see her. This way they're in public, so she can't castrate him. A couple people walk by, and he waves at them. Once the doors close, she tears a shoe off and throws it at him. Then she throws the other one. There's nothing in her pockets except the photo, so she settles for screaming.

"Where the fuck have you been? It's been over a week and NOW you decide to come around?" There has to be something she can hit him with, preferably sharp. "Oh, let me guess. You needed time? It came as a shock? And you better not try to tell me it's not yours."

"Um." He takes a step back as she fists her hands. "I have something to say that will help you realize why we haven't talked. Then we can apologize and-."

"_We_ can apologize? And who says you get to come anywhere near me or even talk to me?" She's following him to the door. She doesn't know why he bothered opening his mouth. "I never should have been in any kind of relationship with you." Strangers can probably hear her, but it just keeps pouring out. "And I should have told you to fuck of so long ago, but better late than never, right? If I see you or hear your voice", she starts hitting him over the head while he struggles to open the door ", I will kill you and get even!" It's not the best speech she's given, but she's gotten her point across. There are a few curses as she kicks and pushes him once he gets the door open. He left big toe starts throbbing from where she missed and kicked the door. Her is warm and she feels ashamed for what she has done to herself.

She stands in the hallway for a few minutes, in case he comes back. When she's got her shoes back on, she walks to the office. "Anders, give me my bag. I'd like to go home." He reappears and she leaves before he can say anything.

She doesn't know if it would have been better had Lance not shown up at all. She could have gone without running into him for the rest of her life. But she's glad that she now knows how much of an asshole he really is. Neither of the two scenarios appeal to her, but unless she moved out of the city, the chances of a run-in at some point were high. Now she just hopes that the courier company doesn't send him.

More than anything, Dawn just wants to sleep. She's not prepared enough. Sure, she's got one obstacle out of the way. But there's a million other things vying for her attention. She has to figure out how much this is going to take out of her savings. Plus she'll be off work. And all the appointments that she'll need to go to. Jesus. What is she going to tell her mother? She's no closer to figuring out what to do than she was before. How is she supposed to know how to be pregnant?


	3. Chapter 3

Dawn is moving slowly through the office, and Anders has half a mind to just send her home and do the work himself. But he's told himself that he won't treat her any differently, so he keeps his mouth shut. He still hasn't brought up the skirmish last month, and recent conversation has been dull and predictable. Anders misses being able to tease Dawn. Nowadays he's too worried about stepping on something upsetting. Even if Dawn didn't have hormones rushing through her blood stream, she would probably still be…not delicate...sensitive maybe? There's no knowing how stressed she really is.

There's still the chance that he'll say something stupid once her belly starts to grow. But he knows that won't be for a few months, unless she'd been dating Lance longer than he thought. He's seen pregnant women before, and the whole thing looks fairly disgusting. It's someone's skin and muscle being stretched around like rubber. Still, when he tries to picture Dawn with a bump, the picture is a little cute.

The phone rings, most likely another call about the event two nights ago. He remembers arriving and speaking with the company. The rest of it was Bragi. From what he can gather, the job was done and brought in more attention that they were hoping for. The only problem is that some of the chairmen's prides were damaged by something he said. Normally, the excess money rolling in would keep the complaining to a minimum. This time, Anders is getting a ridiculous amount of bullshit.

Usually, Anders has some sort of warning before Bragi takes over. But it's getting more and more difficult. He tried calling Olaf to ask about it but unsurprisingly, his grandfather did not pick up. He's worried that soon there won't be any part of himself left. He'd thought that as his family grew stronger, and when they found Frigg, they would be the ones to ascend to Asgard. Now it feels more like he and his brothers will be absorbed by the gods and used up until there's nothing left.

Dawn shuffles around to package forms that the courier company will pick up. If Anders is gone, he doesn't know who will be around in case something goes wrong. He knows Dawn has friends, though he's never heard anything about them. Maybe they would be able to watch her back. He has no idea is Dawn has any siblings.

"Dawn, would you come here for a second?" She sighs and walks around to his desk.

"Yes?"

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"No."

"Ah. Your mother then."

"What about her?" An eyebrow comes up and Dawn puts her hands on her hips.

"Have you told her about what's happened?"

She shifts from one foot to another. "This is none of your business."

"I'm said I'd help."

"You only help yourself." It's sharp and quick, and nothing like Dawn. Her face softens. "Sorry. Please just leave it alone."

It's not like Anders hasn't heard similar things. But he'd never expect them from Dawn. She cares too much about people. She barely puts up with him smart mouthing difficult clients.

"You need someone in case of an emergency. And since you won't talk to me, your mother, or listen to Lance – ."

"Don't defend him."

"I'm not." And he isn't. Although Anders understands why Lance reacted the way he did, (and would probably have done the same himself,) it doesn't make it any less wrong. "But you've at least got to have somebody to drive you to the hospital when it comes time for you to deliver. At the rate you're going, I'd say you should start looking now."

For a moment, he thinks that she might actually yell at him. But instead, she stalks away and does not talk to him for the remainder of the day. He's angered her with his straightforwardness. It's often mistaken for rudeness, but he makes an effort not to lie when he can. No matter how rude Dawn might think him, he knows he's going to end up driving her to the hospital. And he hates hospitals.

Come Sunday, Dawn is exhausted and doesn't want to do anything. But she's meeting with a potential adopter in an hour. She isn't sure if she should bring the ultrasound picture with her to show them. A little research told her it was hardly larger than a walnut at the time, which explains why she can't see it.

She's still debating it when she's ready to go. Impatient, she shoves it into her purse and locks the door behind her. Her deliberation has made her late by her own standards, right on time by the rest of the world. The lawyer gestures her into a room and she takes a seat across from a homely looking couple.

Dawn is a little bit surprised that these are the people she's supposed to meet. They already look like parents. The man has the beginnings of wrinkles and a stomach paunch. The woman is wearing a worn sweater and smiles all the time. At first, Dawn thinks she's just happy to be there. But the smile doesn't drop.

And the way they're talking to her. They won't stop thanking her and saying how excited they are. Dawn is such a saint for giving them her baby. They have plans made up for birthdays and first days of school. Dawn is fairly certain they don't even know her name. She looks sideways at the lawyer, who gives her an apologizing look and steps in.

"You're enthusiasm is touching, but you should remember that nothing has been decided on." She slides a couple papers over to Dawn. "You can look at these if you like. Is there anything you'd like to ask?"

"Actually." Dawn pulls her coat back on. "I don't think this will work. Thank you for your time." She offers her hand to the couple, who stare at it. "I'll call you at another time", she tells the lawyer, who sees her out.

Everywhere she turns, people having been treating her like this. Lance ignored her, the couple saw her as an incubator, and Anders has her head spinning from the different ways he's been acting. No one is acting normally and she has so many other thoughts that she can't focus on any of it. She's pretty certain that she had some semblance of control over her life once. A long time ago.

The office is quiet when his brothers come in. Both Anders and Dawn are working steadily. Colin's recent press conference went better than expected, though there are about seven hundred questions flooding into the ask box. Dawn is sorting through them and picking out which are best to answer. Anders adopts Colin's voice and answers the questions on the site, where no one would guess that the owner of a struggling PR firm was the brain behind the candidate.

Mike stands in front of his desk, looking less intimidating than Anders suspects he means to. Ty flops onto the couch, still in his courier outfit. Axl, still looking tired even after a few weeks home, stretches out next to him. Both seem annoyed at being dragged in for an impromptu family meeting. None of them say anything for a moment, and Anders raises an eyebrow.

"What have you been doing for Colin?" Of course, Mike tries to take immediate control of the situation.

"Right now, I'm answering some of the questions submitted by the public. Last week I did the final touches on a press conference and oversaw a room full of sweating people repeat each others sentences." Part of the reason there's so many questions, he thinks. "Before that, I pulled a couple strings to get the campaign off the ground, where is it now hovering at a couple inches. Next, I plan on getting my balls removed."

"He is a psychopath."

"Yes, Mikkel. I know that." Not like he hadn't been getting first row seats.

"Then why are you using Bragi on people to get them to vote for him?" Mike flinches at how loud he's talked and glances back. Anders sees Dawn pause in her scrolling and tilt her head. He brings his own voice down.

"I'm not. I haven't used him yet, and I don't intend to outside of getting media attention or get rid of any unexpected problems." Unexpected problems like Colin refusing to act like a mentally sound man. "Believe it or not, I do have some morals left and I don't trust him any more than you do."

"Yet you're working for him."

"Yes." Anders tries to figure out how to word this. "The time I spent in Norway cost more than I would have liked, and I lost some clients. I need this job while I search for more work and build up my savings again." None of it is a lie.

"I can lend you money."

"No way. I'm not going to be another hopeless dependent." Axl squawks from the couch. "I built this company without your help, and I will continue to run it without your help. I have work to do. The door is that way. Goodbye."

Mike attempts more of an argument, but Ty and Axl are already heading out the door. Anders dives back into the questions and listens to the three of them walk out. He works for a few minutes before he realizes Dawn has come around from her desk. He pulls his hands of the keyboard and looks up.

"I finished sorting, and the last of them sound have come through to you." She hands him a small stack of papers. "These were faxed over and need your signature."

"Thanks."

"What is a bragi?" She asks it without any trepidation, not unlike Anders. He stares for a moment and claws through his brain, trying to figure out what the hell would make sense.

"It's my family's nickname for when I'm most of an asshole." He can tell that she doesn't understand how the definition fits into the context of what she heard, but she doesn't pursue any more answers.

That night, Anders tries to decide whether he should tell them that he used the campaign as a bargaining tool to get Colin to leave them alone. There's still the chance that he was lying, being Loki, but it's worth the trouble. As much as Mike claims that he'll destroy Loki, Anders is the one looking for a way to prevent any more damage. He repeats this to himself while he watches the three of them try to get back on their feet. Ty is a heartbroken mess, Axl's still learning despite having finished building tech, and Mike just moved back into the bar. Of the entire family, Olaf seems the most stable.

And he wonders, when Bragi is all that's left, is he still going to take care of his family? If not, then he shouldn't expect to be around for Dawn.


	4. Chapter 4

Dawn's visit with her mother went about as well as expected. Surprise, disappointment, awkward questions that Dawn really didn't want to answer. Her mother suggested the Dawn move so that she would be closer. But Dawn would rather move back home on her own terms. So she left with a promise of visiting again drove back to Auckland.

Her mother always told her that she needed to get married before she had kids. Effects of being raised by a strict minister, she's guessing. She remembers being five years old and standing with her parents while they visited a new cousin. Her mother had taken her by the hand and led her up to the baby. At the time, she was confused as to why it didn't look like any doll she'd ever seen. Her mother bent down to murmur in her ear. "One day, when you've got a good husband, you get to have one of these." Dawn withdrew from the idea of spending any time with boys at all. She begged her mother to let her go play so she wouldn't have to be so quiet around the baby.

But here she is, no career, no husband, and a bun in the oven. Her grandfather must be rolling in his grave.

Anders was right about her needing to tell someone else. Maybe now that she's taken some of his advice he won't nose about in her business anymore. It was fine of him to pretend of offer his help, but she'd rather he ignored the entire thing completely. She has just over five months left, so she's almost halfway. Halfway is good.

The office is good, too, when she goes to work. Anders talks most of the day while they work on their clients that have taken the backseat during a few busy weeks. He's acting more like himself, thankfully. Except he doesn't send her out on as many coffee and costume trips. Under normal circumstances, Dawn would be happy. Now it just feels like she's an invalid.

She almost confronts him again, and then decides against it. He's left her alone enough. Any more nagging and he might just make himself even more annoying. And he hasn't said anything about her body. She's put on some weight. It's not a pregnancy belly, but more like she's going through another round of puberty. She's _squishy_. Her hips and stomach have another layer on them and her breasts are starting to grow.

She'd been hoping that she could put off buying new clothes for at least a little longer. But she's filling out her tops. She's can't wear anything resembling a low neckline, or it becomes obvious.

And too soon after, it's obvious to anyone who's seen her before. She's done her best to compact herself, but its laundry day and there is nothing she can do but go about as usual. Five minutes into the office, she thinks that there won't be a problem. But Anders finally looks up at her and does a double take.

"Oh." To give him credit, he doesn't stare. "Okay."

"Yes. Do not say anything more about them."

"Right."

It becomes a theme for the day that whenever a person looks at her, they are immediately drawn to her chest. She feels uncomfortable in her own skin, and wonders what she can to do make sure people stop. She's with Anders at the table when it happens again and she tries shrink in the chair.

Anders rolls up the papers he's holding and hits the man across his ear. He starts and grabs at his head, glaring at Anders. "Now that I've got your attention, this is the revised budget. As you can see, it's not printed on my assistant's chest." Dawn colors at Anders' words and tries to excuse herself. Anders tells her to remain seated. "It's his fault anyway." The man looks insulted.

She looks down at the table for the remainder of the meeting. Anders doesn't mention anything to her afterwards. She spends the last hour on the phone with the printer's. When she's finished, she closes everything down and Anders silently follows her out.

The second visit to the doctor's office is more like a routine appointment. She has the usual tests done and answers questions about how her body is reacting. Even though it's a much shorter stay, she's still uncomfortable the entire time she's in the room. When the doctor makes note of getting a 20-week ultrasound, Dawn winces. In her car, she rubs her hands together to soothe her fingers. It was only when she started filling out more paperwork that she noticed both hands had been fisted. At this rate, she's going to give herself high blood pressure powerful enough to rocket her to the moon.

She's still thinking about that when she's at her desk the next day. She peeks around the corner at Anders, who is frowning down at something. She draws back and sits for a few more minutes before she looks again. He's scratching out lines on some papers and looking unhappy. Not the best time to talk with him.

She keeps checking until the folds between his eyebrows have smoothed before she comes around and sits down in front of his desk.

"I need to ask a favor." She shouldn't be doing this. She finally got him to leave her alone. Now she'll have to start all over.

"What kind of favor?" He looks slightly suspicious, as if he thought she needed money to fund a biker gang.

"I have recently found out that I am no longer comfortable at doctor's offices."

"I am not qualified to be your doctor."

"That's not it." She snaps. "I kind of have an appointment coming up in a little over a month." Anders blinks at her when she pauses. "I thought if someone came with me, I wouldn't be as freaked out."

It's unlikely that he would have looked more surprised if she had been a biker. "Ah. Of course." He clears his throat. "When is it?"

"Five Wednesdays from now. Sometime in the afternoon, I'm not sure."

"Should be fine." He smiles. "It's a date."

She isn't quite sure whether she should be more concerned with the fact that she just asked her boss to come to her ultrasound, or if he flirted with her.

It takes a little time to change the noted courier pick-up and drop-off time frame and an expected phone call conversation for that day, but Anders is able to sort through it. There's some disgusting coincidence that makes Ty be the next person in the office and the only person curious as to why Anders will be closing the office early. He should have had someone glue Ty's shorts to the bike seat so he doesn't have to deal with these crappy timings.

"For the last time Ty, I have to drive out of town that afternoon."

"So why won't Dawn be here?"

"Why does it matter?" He swats Ty's hands away from the things on his desk.

"It doesn't."

Ty is an idiot for dragging himself along after Dawn. Anders considers telling him what happened to the last guy Dawn dated, but saves it for another time.

"Is she alright, by the way? She's put on some weight."

"Why, Ty. I never took you for so shallow of a guy."

Ty scowls. "I'm serious. She's gained weight pretty fast, especially around her waist and…other places."

Anders wonders why his brother hasn't gotten the idea yet.

"I don't watch her eating habits. If you're that curious, go tell her she's gained a few."

That gets him to go away. How Ty managed to notice the change in scheduled time that far ahead, relate it to Dawn, and then get over to the office with an actual excuse is amazing. If he bothered putting that energy towards something else he might not be so gloomy.

Dawn has put on weight, that much is true. Which means the foreseeable future will have Dawn sporting a bump of growing size. If he focuses, he can kind of see it already. It'll only get bigger, unfortunately. And then everyone who stops by will coo over Dawn, which she'll probably hate more than he will. People weren't made to coo, not even over animals or kids.

He briefly thinks about what'll happen when Dawn has a kid to run after. There's never really been a policy about no family or friends hanging around the office. He hopes Dawn doesn't take that to mean she can partake in Bring Your Child to Work Day. Kids are smelly and loud, not to mention dumb as shit.

If he tries, he can remember when Axl was small and had just broken out of the habit of waking up every two hours. His mother handed his brother over and Anders was amazed that there was finally someone smaller than him. Ty had nearly matched him already. But Axl's hands could fit inside his palms. He looked like a alien version of Ty. Axl, like Mike and Ty, already looked like one of the family. Anders didn't look like anyone, really.

He hopes Dawn's baby looks like her. That she won't have to see anyone but herself when she looks at her child.


	5. Chapter 5

He has no idea what he's doing. First Dawn was fine with him being nice for the first time in his life, then she basically told him to fuck off, and now he's somewhere in between. It's frustrating.

"What are all these papers for?"

"They're required by the city. I told you that ten minutes ago." Was he awake ten minutes ago? "And heads up, your brother's coming down the hall."

"Which one?"

"Mike."

Great. He's seen very little of his brothers lately, so this is either about something cataclysmically bad or a waste of time that Anders won't worry over. Mike storms in and all but pulls him out from behind the desk. "C'mon. You've got something to do."

"Yes, work." He rolls his shoulders back and turns to face away from Mike. "What's so important that you interrupted it?"

"Our, ah, _visitors _from abroad seem to have been replaced. We're going to have to try something different."

"Then why do you need me to come?" He remembers the bolt loaded on the crossbow, a couple a feet away from killing him. "I'm much better at fighting behind the scenes."

"Because we need every body we have. They mean business."

Anders can tell that Mike is boxing him in. He can't even stand up out of the chair without his brother being able to grab him and haul him off. He's going to be stuck in this disaster. Different isn't quite what he would like to take part in.

He hates seeing dead things. Even when a fish floats belly-up, he gets Dawn to move it out of the tank. There's something wrong about the way that once something dies, there's no physical change. In most cases.

Even if they just threaten the people, he doesn't think they'll be able to do so without some blood. Which belongs inside the body. Not streaked across floors or soaking into the dirt. And definitely not leaking out of a tree as a branch is cut away.

"I have one condition." Mike huffs. "No one gets killed. If that happens, to us or them, it is on you."

"It will be on all of us."

He leaves the usual instructions with Dawn and climbs into the back of Ty's van. They've crammed themselves in with left over refrigerator pieces. The metal clinks together as they head down the road and Anders rubs a hand over his face. Olaf taps him on the shoulder and he peels apart his eyelids.

There's an angry face looking at him. Or rather, several angry faces staring down everyone he's showed up with. He doesn't know where he is, but everyone is still together, so that's a good sign. Shaky, he can feel Bragi stretching, seeing how far he can work his way out.

He's out again, catching bits of yelling and something heavy making impact. When Bragi's worn himself out and Anders is lucid enough to get his surroundings again, he's standing in his kitchen, hands soaking in the sink. When he lifts them up, he can see scores of tiny cuts and punctures. None of them are serious and will probably be gone in a day or two. But it's the glass still hanging to some of them that freaks him out.

He shoves his hands back into the water when red starts to leak out. A quick look around tells him that nothing else is wrong with him. Not wanting to look at his palms again, he shakes his hands in the water, hoping it will dislodge the rest of the glass. All it does is sent a few pinches of pain into his skin.

It takes half an hour to get his hands out, pull the remaining shards away, and shove his palms onto a towel to wait for them to stop bleeding. He tosses the towel into the trash when he's done. There's nothing suspicious in there, and the apartment is quiet. No alarming messages on his phone. Bragi did the hard work. All he needed was to borrow Anders' body.

Anders comes to work with Band-Aids all over his hands and doesn't offer an explanation. It's better than him coming in drunk, so Dawn keeps her mouth shut. Though there is a small problem with him handling things, because the adhesive is wearing off by mid-morning and snagging on everything. Dawn gets tired of finding them on the floor and wrestles Anders' hand away to pull the remaining bandages off.

"Did anything bad happen after I left yesterday? Not in the office, but the city in general."

"Well," she rolls her eyes, "I'm not exactly on full city watch. But no, there wasn't anything out of the ordinary, if that's what you're asking. Why?"

"No reason."

"Fine." She returns to her desk and settles back into her chair. It's getting harder to sit normally. She's sporting what looks like a beer gut, even though she hasn't drank in what feels like ten years. And she could really use one.

She catches Anders before he leaves for the day. He looks as tired as she feels, so she plans to make it quick.

"I know I was the one who asked you to come to my appointment with me. But you don't have to, it's fine."

"I said I would." He adjusts his grip on his case and moves to leave.

"I can go by myself. You don't need to."

He squares his shoulders. "I want to." Of all the times he decides to be stubborn.

"Because?" Dawn has all the time in the world. It's not like there's anyone at home waiting for her. "Give me a real answer."

He looks down for a moment and shifts his weight. She stays where she is.

"I think I've done some pretty bad stuff lately. I have to change that. Or try to make up for it. I'm not sure which."

"You _think_ you've done bad things? Like what, call your brother a dickhead or set fire to an orphanage?"

Anders doesn't answer, just focuses on a spot behind her. He looks guilty. She didn't think that was possible, honestly. "I guess you could say it's a bit like losing control." He draws in a breath. "I'm not always me."

"That's not a real answer."

He laughs once, then opens the door. "More than you think is real." He clears this throat. "Dawn, go home."

She does. She makes herself dinner. Sits to read for an hour and relaxes. And she wonders which of them is in the worse situation. Pregnant or going mad.

Dawn tries twice more to gets Anders to not come with her to the doctor's. He doesn't make any more strange comments when they talk. He is, however, starting to tease her by poking herself in the stomach. She sits as much as she can and threatens him with a notebook when he manages to get her in the bellybutton.

She's made it past the halfway mark. The only problem is that 18-weeks is worse than 16-weeks. It's just going to keep getting worse, too. And now everyone is noticing. Even Ty, who's seen her at least once a week and is looking at her like she's puked on both their shoes.

"Are you…?"

"Yes." She holds the tablet out and waits for him to take it.

Instead, he turns to Anders, who is leaning over a blueprint on the table, not paying attention. "Why did you do this?" Anders looks up, a pen between his teeth.

"What?"

"Is there anyone is this city you haven't fucked?"

Dawn starts. "Excuse me?" Anders looks over at her, one brow raised. "I don't know either."

But then Ty is coming around the table and chasing Anders, who is moving surprisingly fast. They circle around the table like two cartoon characters until they've ended up opposite each other, Anders closest to her.

"What the hell makes you think I'm the babydaddy?"

"She and Lance broke up months ago, who else would it be?" Ty reaches across the table, fingers barely missing Anders.

"In case you haven't noticed, she's got a few months of fetus growing in her." Anders holds a hand out to indicate Dawn. "Don't you remember anything from Mum being pregnant with Axl?"

Ty runs again, but Dawn plants herself between the two of them. "Cut it out. This doesn't involve you."

"Someone has to hold Anders responsible." He reaches around her at Anders, who ducks away.

"Well, then you're an idiot because Lance is the one who got me into this."

He looks a little offended on top of pissed off. "Not Anders?"

"No." She groans in frustration. "Why do you keep suggesting that? Now please, go back to work."

Ty doesn't look convinced, but he leaves anyway. She rounds on Anders. "What was that?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well, he seemed convinced that this was yours." She gestures to her stomach. "And he attacked you."

"My family thinks I'm a man-whore. Plus Ty's in love with you, so he'll make a few more attempt to disembowel me later."

"He's not in love with me." Anders freezes. "He barely knows me."

"You're right." He smoothens the papers out on the table. "Just make sure to give me a warning when he shows up again."

Dawn doesn't feel like the conversation is over, but Anders has become absorbed in the work again. She glances down to her gut then back up. "Does he know that I asked you to come to the appointment?"

"No." Anders rubs his temple. "I haven't told anyone."

"Do you think other people are going to assume the same thing?"

"No. Why are you asking?"

She mumbles and moves back to her chair. Every time she opens her mouth she makes things worse. Anders follows her and leans against the partition.

"Were you embarrassed that Ty thought we slept together?" He's speaking quietly.

"I just don't like the idea of people thinking I sleep around." She pulls up her email and starts opening messages.

"Two guys don't make you a slut, Dawn." She doesn't say anything. He grabs the corner of the screen and turns it off. "Is it that bad, that he thought I was the father?"

She won't look at him. After a couple moments, he leaves her alone. She could have just lied and told him no, she wasn't embarrassed. She isn't afraid that people are going to assume that she slept with her boss to work her way up. That it would just be better if he fired her and they weren't in the same room together with her like this.


	6. Chapter 6

Anders knows that there's going to be some sort of explosion with Ty and possibly the family. And after the debacle with Axl and Gaia, he wants to nip this one in the bud. He tries Ty on his phone, but he doesn't pick up. So Anders figures the other two places to check are his house and Stacey's business. If he's not there, then Anders should expect to run over by a bicycle.

Thankfully, he finds his brother brooding in his kitchen. He looks ready to knife Anders, but stays on his stool. Carefully, Anders closes the door behind him and takes a few steps in.

"I would never touch her." He hopes Ty will believe him. Of the three brothers, he managed to get on with Ty the best. He'd like at least one of them not to completely hate him.

"Well someone did a lot more than touching."

"She was already pregnant when they broke up. I'm guessing at least a month along, too." Anders really has no idea, but anything could help. "And nothing happened."

Ty appears to be thinking it over. "So she's farther than three months?"

"Well, if Mum was anything to go by she's closer to five."

"Do you really remember Mum being pregnant with Axl that much?"

"Yeah." Anders relaxes a little now that the topic is changing. "Dad was gone for most of it, so Mike and I had to pick up the slack."

There's a minute of quiet. Anders shifts of his heels, watching Ty pick at a chip in his counter.

"I guess that means she's off men for now, then." Ty attempts a smile, and Anders is relieved that another brother hasn't sliced his neck open.

"For now. Maybe she'll try to find a dad for the kid someday."

"She'll be too busy with the baby and working for you. You're more likely to be the guy that kid calls dad."

Anders grimaces at that. "She'd kill me if that happened. Besides, just the thought of anything outside of a work relationship makes her sick."

"That's my general reaction to you, too". Ty's smile gives him away.

The next few days are great for Anders. His family is about as normal as they can manage. The campaign doesn't snag any problems. And he balances with Bragi. They're working along side each other, like they used to. Together, they work better than Anders does on his own. Anders thinks up an idea and Bragi expands it in the same amount of time.

He misses having this partnership with Bragi. He never has to be alone, and they agree on most things. Anders guesses that it's what being best friends with someone is like. Except they communicate telepathically and share a body. So he has no idea what best friends do.

Dawn is relieved that Anders is finally acting like himself. He doesn't have a winning personality, but it's what she's used to. Their bickering is commonplace and half-hearted. He avoids work, she reminds him of it, and he ignores everything.

Mostly, she's glad that he's leaving her alone. The office is slowly transitioning into the only place where people don't ask her about her stomach. Now that it's turning into a globe, her neighbors, the bank teller, cashiers at the grocery store, and even complete strangers are stopping her to talk. She doesn't want to talk. She wants to be able to get her mail and buy food like she always has. She's not "excited to be expecting". And she certainly hasn't measured how round she is.

But the office is a sanctuary. Anders never mentions her belly and he keeps the team busy when she can't. She can think about things other than the two other adoption couples she's met. Or that the lawyer says she should consider keeping the baby. Or that none of her dresses fit anymore. Or that she has been somehow reorganized into a different category. As if women and mothers are two separate entities.

She's becoming aware that no matter how hard she tries, most people aren't going to see her the same way when this is over with. They _expect_ her to keep the kid. But there's no room for a child. She has plans for what she's going to do with her life, and having to be a parent will get in the way. Especially if she travels, which she's hoping to do.

Dawn puts together the order form she's been filling out and takes a moment to look up. The team is making calls from a list of numbers. Anders is also on the phone, looking annoyed. She strains her hearing and can make out most of what he's saying.

"-supposed to do, fly over to their doorsteps and tell them to leave us alone? I think we'll be surprised at how many freaky religious groups there are."

The next words are too low for Dawn to hear, but Anders expression remains.

"If Axl wants that done, then he can do it himself." He hangs up and catches Dawn peeking around the wall. "Yes?"

"Nothing. Everything okay?"

"Just my brothers." He walks over so that the team isn't between them. "Let's just say Axl has been working on some strengths of his and now he's too big for his boots."

It doesn't quite answer her question, but Dawn has learned that Anders' family has way too many problems, none of which she wants to get involved in.

"I've put in for what we'll need in the commercial. But I can't do much more until Colin tells us when he has a free day." She flips through her notes. "There are just minor details that can be done, which the team has. Other than that, we need to get him back in here to finish planning."

"I'll give him a call." Anders returns to the back of the office, but Dawn doesn't look past the corner.

It's only a short time later that Anders' brother comes in and pulls him into the hallway by his jacket collar. A few people at the table look over at the door, and Dawn snaps at them to get back to work. She's always known that things are tense between the brothers, but Mike usually seemed like the most levelheaded of the four. She doesn't think she can remember seeing him that angry, even with Anders.

The door does open in eventually. Anders walks through, picks up his things, and tells Dawn he'll be gone for the rest of the day. There's no explanation before he's out the door.

There is blood caked under his fingernails, and Anders can't get it out. He's been scrubbing at one hand for a few minutes with no change. Ty reaches in and takes a wrist. With a toothpick, he scrapes out most of the red from a few fingers and leaves Anders to do the rest.

The two of them stand at the sink in Ty's house. Behind them, the others bicker. Anders remembers how there was once a certainty that they wouldn't use violence and murder. It was a stupid idea to think that Anders would be able to convince the god hunters to turn on each other. Their conviction runs deeper than Bragi's power can reach. And they knew what he could do. So it makes sense that they'd be prepared.

He's seen Axl wield a sword before, but he's never been truly scared of his brother. Except he wasn't watching his brother, he was watching Odin. He thinks that he and Ty are lucky. Anders has returned to collaboration with Bragi and Ty is rid of Hodr for the most part. Neither of them have major gods, who'll turn them inside out.

Stacey pushes between them to place dirty bowls in the sink. She glances at Anders when she notices that his hands are shaking. He looks back, but only sees tired resignation. She has even less say in all of this than he does.

Ty steers Anders across the room to the door. Outside, Axl's voice is hard to hear. The brothers stand in Ty's yard, watching the neighborhood settle in for dinner. Ty's angry, and after a minute he quits grinding his teeth.

"He's going to get someone killed."

Ty is right. Axl is as destroyed over Gaia as Ty is over Dawn. And knowing that a god hunter killed Idunn's previous vessel, a small part of the blame falls on them. With extreme repercussions. Enough to make Anders worried that Axl will try to kill him again.

He tries to talk about something else. "Dawn is doing well. Thought you'd like to know."

Ty's shoulders relax a bit. Whenever he's been in the office, he's tried to make up for his outburst. Anders doesn't care anymore, but Dawn is at odds to why Ty would jump to defend her honor.

"Thanks."

Anders hums and pulls out his phone. He calls for a taxi. He can't ride back to his car with Mike. Not after he watched his older brother load bodies into the bed of the truck to burn in the woods. The stench had woven itself into Anders' clothes, filling his pores. He'd scrubbed at his face and rinsed his hair twice to get it out. Then he asked Ty if he could borrow some clothes and tossed his suit in the trash.

It's a disgusting irony that the two of them are now the "good" brothers. Anders tries to imagine Ty disposing of a body and can't connect the image to his kind brother. He grips Ty's shoulder with one hand as a farewell and walks out to the taxi. He's on the sidewalk when his brother calls him back.

"I think they'll be here for awhile." He looks over his shoulder at his house. "Mind if I crash on your couch?"

He gives Ty a few minutes to grab a change of clothes and dismisses the taxi. They load Ty's bike into the van and Anders rambles on. A couple of his coarse jokes get exasperated sighs in return, but his brother doesn't tell him to shut it.

He gets Ty set up on the couch with a few blankets and reminds him to lock the bathroom door if he uses it. In his room, he wraps himself up with the duvet. Bragi and he mull over the day in the silence. The god has similar feelings. Odin's increasing influence might be a sign that Frigg is nearby. But they might all be dead before they can reach Asgard.


	7. Chapter 7

Ty is grumbling in his kitchen when Anders wakes up. "All you have in here is alcohol and leftover takeout."

"I haven't gone shopping recently." He reaches around Ty and picks up a container. It doesn't smell that bad, so he grabs a fork and starts eating.

He really should get some more food soon. But Anders hates the tedium of walking up and down isles of boxes. Whenever he does make a trip, the store is always short-staffed. It's easier to wait until the fridge is empty and he has no other choice.

Ty leaves a little earlier than he does. The apartment settles back into its usual silence. This carries over to the office, where Anders arrives first. A few minutes pass with the sound of his typing filling the room.

The morning is peaceful. Everyone works steadily and no packages are dropped off. Anders spends most of the time worried that someone is going to come busting through the door. He didn't do any fighting the previous night, but he's been on that list the longest. He's had contact with the god hunters three times. Who's to say that they haven't looked into where he lives and works?

That also puts his brothers in danger. Ty was tracked down easy enough. And the other two haven't been very subtle recently. Olaf is always on the move, so he's probably the safest. And then there are the people around them. The goddesses. Co-workers. Patients. Dawn.

"Have we gotten any more strange packages?" he asks her.

"Not that I'm aware of."

She shifts in her chair, her stomach bumping the edge of the desk. Gently, he reaches over and smoothens the fabric of her dress. She starts and he withdraws his fingers. He apologizes and leaves her alone.

Back at his desk, he rubs his hands together. Her stomach had been warm and soft under his skin. Now the pads of his fingers are tingling and the muscles feel stiff. He curls and stretches them, but it doesn't help. Whatever it is will have to go away eventually, so he does his best to shake it off and continues working.

Meanwhile, Dawn is uncomfortably trying to sink down into her chair. It's not like he hasn't spent time poking her just to annoy her. It's just that even she hasn't touched her stomach. It makes showering and dressing difficult, but she works around it. Then Anders had just reached over with no warning and placed both hands right on the top of it.

It's like there's something remaining. A residue or mark from his fingers. It's ridiculous, but she has to stop herself from doing the same thing. It would take two seconds to follow the trail, but she won't let herself do it. She and the baby are two separate things. She is not going to start acting like a pregnant woman and holding her stomach every time a hand is free.

But very briefly, she taps the spot where the edge of his thumb trailed off. Goosebumps break out on her arms and the back of her neck prickles. She shouldn't have done that. Now she'll start touching it more often. And rubbing cocoa butter on it. And taking cheesy pictures like her hands forming a heart around her belly button.

There have been moments when she wished that something would go wrong. She knows that it's cruel to wish someone dead, but she wants this to end now. There are women all over the world who lose their babies that they already love. It isn't fair to them or her that she's made it this far. They deserve what she doesn't want. But instead, they all suffer. And she feels selfish for equaling her plight with theirs.

Dawn thinks that maybe they'll find something at the ultrasound. Something that will make this whole thing disappear. Maybe she can ask Anders for some of his good luck to rub off on her. He said he planned to come whether she changed her mind or not, so he could at least help.

She gets a call from her mother when the office is at it's quietest, so she ignores the call and waits until a more private time to talk. When she does get a chance to call back, her mother starts talking immediately.

"You'll be having an appointment soon, won't you? It's about that time."

"Yes." Five minutes out of the office and she's already getting this.

"I thought I'd come with you. It wouldn't be right for you to go alone."

"Mum, you can't come down here. You have a hard enough time spending an afternoon out. Besides, I'm not going alone."

"I thought you broke up with that man?"

Dawn grinds her teeth for a moment. "I did. Someone else is coming with me."

"Who? I really don't think you should bring just anybody."

"I'm not."

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" Her mum has an edge of suspicion in her voice. What she's suspicious of, Dawn has no ida.

"I'll be fine." She planned on going alone, anyway.

"At least tell me who it is."

Dawn tries to edge around the truth for a few moments. But her mother is persistent and she's just going to call back if Dawn end the conversation without giving an answer.

"Anders is coming with me."

"Your boss?"

"Yes." Now it sounds pathetic. A grown woman bringing her employer along to a pregnancy check-up.

"Why on earth would he do that? He's always sounded like a narcissist if you ask me."

"Well, I didn't. And I've offered to let him back out. He's adamant about coming. So the least I can do is get back to work. I'll call again another time. Goodbye."

Her mother tries to squeeze in a few more questions, but Dawn continues saying farewell and hangs up. The appointment is next week, but she'll get another couple of conversations with her mother before she goes and an eternity's worth for the rest of her life.

The team clears out in the afternoon, and the last hour or so is just Dawn and Anders. They're on the phone for most of it, setting up interviews and getting a venue prepared. When all is said and done, she's irritated and ready to never talk to anyone ever again.

She waits by Anders' desk while he finishes double-checking some forms. When he hands them to her and turns in his chair, the look on his face keeps her there. She feels like he can see something she can't. Then he slowly poked her, the very tip of his finger resting disturbing her dress and rubbing it against her skin.

He's poked her repeatedly, but this is almost the opposite. His eyebrows are furrowed and he's just sitting there with a finger held to her. Slowly as he brought it up, he lets his arms come back down and he looks up at her. It's terrifying. He looks as if he understands everything about this baby while all she knows is that it has a nine-month rent lease.

"Are you keeping it?" He doesn't sound like he's worried about her answer. The only person that will go along with what she wants.

"No. I'm looking into possible parents."

He nods and stands up to sit on the couch. She follows and lowers herself down, unable to bend like normal. Her back aches and protests the extra weight. Next, she'll be needing a wheelchair.

"Do you think you're going to regret not keeping it?"

"No." She has a plan, and she's sticking to it. "I have things I want to do, and a child will get in the way."

"You've though everything through?"

She hums.

"Good." A beat of quiet. "You'd be a wonderful mother. The kind I wished I had as a kid."

It's something so unlike Anders. He's never mentioned anything about being a child or his parents, as if he was never a child and neither mother nor father ever existed. It could be a moment of weakness. Or a small gift, him letting her inside for a small moment. Then he takes in a deep breath and it's the last she'll ever hear of it.

"I hope things turn out for the best, whatever it is." He reaches over and grasps her hand for just a moment, enough to displace the dust in the air. He moves to stand up and she holds his elbow, keeping him there. This is the most they've understood each other, and she wants to let it last.

So they sit. Her hand runs down his arm into his palm and he brings the other over. She hasn't felt this calm in a long time. Finally, she can just _breathe_. Like this one moment is separate from time. She doesn't have to think about lawyers and doctors and vitamins.

Anders' phone rings across the room. He unwraps from Dawn's hand and picks it up. There's a frown as he looks at the screen. "Hey, Axl".

She sits while he talks with his brother. Axl's voice can't be heard from where she is, but Anders' answers are simple. There's a line of tension running across his shoulders and down into his arms. Without warning, he let's loose a few choice words and hangs up.

"Sorry."

"He's your brother. You should take his calls."

"I'd rather I didn't." A hand rubs at his face. "If Axl or Mike come to the office and I'm not here, be careful."

Being cautious around his brothers isn't something Dawn would expect Anders to mention.

"Is everything alright?"

"Hardly."

They aren't usually this sharing of information with each other. It's new and a little strange to Dawn, but she's seeing Anders as more of a person. He'd always been more of a dynamic force that flits around her life, ripping things out by their roots. Now she's held onto a part of him. But the worst part is that she's not seeing that may good parts of him. He's taking shape as an unhappy, lonely figure.

She supposes she's never helped much with that. And in the past few months, she's done the same to herself. She hasn't been out with friends, too embarrassed to let them see her. The only person she's seen on a regular basis is Anders.

"What have your brothers been up to?"

He stares at her with a bewildered expression. She shrugs and leans farther back into the couch.

"Being a pain in my ass. Except Ty. He's still himself." He rejoins her back on the couch. "Even if he did give himself an ulcer over my food supply."

She probes into his life. He doesn't tell her much of anything, but she misses talking with another person about everyday things. Most words passed between them are about work. She takes in the details he gives her and thinks about how she's thought that she's known darker moments than he has. There are things that he's not mentioning, and her instincts tell her they would make her feel lucky.

He tries to ask her questions too, but he runs out. He's probably never had a personal conversation with a woman that didn't end with sex. It's a little simpler, with him not quite knowing what he's doing. But it's still odd to see him when he's not self-assured. She takes it in and tries to decide if this makes them friends.


	8. Chapter 8

Dawn waits for Anders to get the last person out of the office. He steers them out and closes the door so the two of them can close everything down for the day. Dawn is finished with her half, but Anders had been stuck with some stupid questions. He jumps around the office, picking things up and filing them into a system that only makes sense to him. Lastly he pulls his briefcase off his desk and slides out the door after Dawn.

She lets him drive. His car is much nicer than hers and she's rarely been inside it. They buckle themselves in and he starts the engine. "All right, which way are we going?"

"To the hospital." She thought that much would have been obvious.

"I thought you said it was a doctor's appointment?"

"Yes. At the hospital." She gestures out the window. "So let's go there."

Anders pulls onto the street and follows the route. He's unusually quiet on the way, and Dawn watches him out of the corner of her eye. The tendons in his hands are pronounced from his grip on the steering wheel and his head has sunk towards his shoulders.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes. I think." He puts on his signal to enter the parking lot. "I'm not going to see any blood or, like, guts? Right?"

"No." Does he think she's going to be disemboweled? "The E.R. is in another section."

"So we won't be anywhere near it?"

"No."

He perks up a little after that and his wrists relax. She still has to push him in the back to get him though the main doors, but he doesn't do anything embarrassing like vomit or faint. She checks in with the reception desk and sits next to him in the waiting room. Dawn planned on going to the actual appointment by herself while Anders waited outside, but when her name is called he stands up and walks with her to the room.

There are a few chairs, one pulled up next to the bed and two against the wall. Anders looks like he'll sit in one of the later at first. But then he helps her onto the bed and turns the chair next to it so that he's facing her. They're both quiet while the technician sets everything up.

When the picture shows up, Anders _leans forward._ Dawn ignores the screen to watch him. He looks amazed. When his eyes flick towards her, they turn down and he sits back. But its only a moment later and he's back to staring at the screen.

It's kind of endearing, if that term could ever be used in relation to Anders. He asks the technician which hands are which and looks down to Dawn's stomach as if he could see inside. Distracted, his hands rest on the edge of the bed. Two of his knuckles graze her wrist. The action goes unnoticed by the other two occupants, and Dawn can't bring herself to pull away.

Anders can't help it. There's a _person_ inside Dawn, small enough that he could probably hold them in one hand. He won't tell her, but he thinks the kid already resembles her.

It has such impossibly small fingers and toes. How anything that fragile looking could survive is worrying. There are a million things that could happen. It could have trouble delivering, get sick, have some defect and need surgery. Anders tries to remind himself that he isn't the father and has no right to care of the child. But there's an urge to wrap the baby up in warmth. It's similar to how he used to feel when Axl and Ty were little kids. That faded over time. Still, that wasn't as strong as what he's feeling now.

It's a waste. This is the closest Dawn will ever let him near the kid. He'd be an awful influence. He drinks too much and has women over to his apartment all the time. No self-control and the most selfish person alive. He's surprised she's stuck around this long.

The technician pushes around to find the best picture and pulls a still. "It's usually the mothers that get more excited at the ultrasounds. You two are one of the few that have it switched around. Then again, it's nice to see fathers excited too."

Dawn catches Anders' eye, but he doesn't say anything either. She doesn't want to have to explain to the woman that the only person she could think of to bring was her boss. Why Anders hasn't refuted the claim, she has no idea.

"Would you like to know the sex?"

She hasn't considered it. She doesn't answer at first, just watches Anders hands. If she learns anything more about this baby, it's going to make her guilt grow because she still won't want it. She looks up at Anders, hoping he'll get her out of this.

He meets her eyes for a moment. Then he moves a hand, the tips of his fingers brushing the inside of her arm. "_I_ think it's a girl, but Dawn wants to be surprised. So, we'll wait."

"No." Jesus. Why is she talking? "It's not that big of a deal to me. Plus if you're wrong, I can pick at you about it later."

Anders smiles then. Not a smirk like she's seen more times than she cares to remember, but a smile. It's small and his teeth don't show, but it's so surprising that she smiles back. She isn't laughing, though, when the technician tells them that it is, in fact, a girl. Anders looks smug as he helps her off the bed, so she pinches him in the ribs.

The photo she's handed is of a bigger blob. She knows where the head and body should be, but can't see either. She sits in Anders car while he drives back and spends a few minutes trying to find the head or a hand. But it's all just different shades of the greyish blue. She fits the photo in the console between them and rubs her temples.

Each time she has this done, the thing is going to look more and more human. It's easier, when it was an abstract clump of cells. Now she feels responsibility, like she should be drinking health smoothies and going to pregnancy aerobic classes. Which is pointless, because it's not like she's smoking and binge drinking every night. When they pull up to the office, she leaves the photo in the car. Anders picks it up and holds it out to her. She stands with the door in one hand and would much rather just shut it and go home.

"Keep it." Keep it and don't let her see it ever again.

"No." He leans over further. "You can put it in your scrapbook. Then when the kids like fifteen or whatever show it to the prom date."

"I don't have a scrapbook." She doesn't want to remember any of this. "Besides, I'm not keeping it."

Anders reels back, the residual cheeriness disappearing. "What?"

Dawn is confused at the expression on his face. She figured it was a general assumption that she would be giving the baby up. It's not the right time. Not yet. She shakes her head and twitches her arm, unsure if she should close the door and leave or not.

Anders pulls his arm back. "Oh." He straightens up and buckles himself back in, not looking at her. Dawn shuts the door and turns away.

He should just throw the picture out. Or set in on Dawn's desk. He doesn't deserve it. He has nothing connecting him to the baby. He's the mother's boss. Dawn hasn't attached herself, either. She surprised him with her decision to give it up. He thought she was someone who adored and cooed over babies. Maybe its just babies who aren't her own.

He leaves the photo on his table and decides that if Dawn wants it back, she can ask. She doesn't. She spends the day as usual, though a little slower on her feet. It's still there when he returns home. After searching through his kitchen drawers for a few minutes, he finds a magnet, forgotten from some past client. He lays it over the edge of the photo. There's nothing else on his fridge, which makes the photo look strange, but he's not going to put it in a frame or anything.

Dawn never does ask for it back. So Anders keeps it and figures he'll part with it one day. But barely a few days have passed and he finds himself watching the photo more often than he's sure is normal. Dawn is getting bigger and there is a picture of what's inside her, right there in his kitchen.

A picture of Dawn's little girl. He and his brothers never had girl friends growing up, so his experience with them is limited. But he knows that Dawn would be the best mother possible. It's not fair that his mother had four sons when she shouldn't have had any children, but Dawn is throwing away her right to raise her daughter.

But it's her daughter, and only hers. No matter what he thinks, it won't matter. He's not family or even a friend. And he's not that tiny baby's father.


	9. Chapter 9

It's just before the six-month mark when Anders brings up Dawn's plan to give away the baby. She's working on figuring out how to keep the company afloat when she's on maternity leave. That's not for a while, but knowing Anders, she's going to have to account for every possible event. There's a chair pulled up to the other side of her desk so she can put her feet up.

Anders come around and sits on the edge of the desk, looking at the wall behind her. During the entire conversation, he doesn't look away from the wallpaper.

"Why are you giving your daughter up?"

"It's the best option for right now." It is, for both of them. "I'd like to work out some other things before I accept responsibility for a child."

He nods, but stays at the desk. After a breath, he asks another question. "Do you think you'll regret it one day?"

She lies. "No."

"I hope you don't. Because you'll be miserable if you do."

That's it. After two questions, Anders gets up and returns to the couch. There's a feeling that he wanted to tell her more. But if he doesn't want to tell her, Dawn isn't going to be the one to prod him about it. She's curious as to what he's thinking, but pushes that away.

For all that she's included him in, she isn't going to tell him that she found her adoptive parents on her extended lunch break. They're a boring, everyday couple that asked the right proportion of questions about Dawn and the baby. She was as reluctant to sign the papers with them as she was with the other couples, but she decided that she needed to pick someone. And she'll never see them again after the birth, so there's no reason to be picky. They'll raise the baby in a suburb with a good public school and take all the pictures like parents are supposed to.

Everything is set up. The paperwork at the hospital is filled out, so she'll be ready to deliver there. There are parents to take the baby and they're paying for the remaining expenses. She's almost done with the scheduling, and she's planning to call an ambulance to get her to the hospital when she goes into labor.

Now it's just a matter of waiting. And pushing a human out of a hole way too small for that purpose. But she'd rather not focus on that right now.

Sill, she's trying to figure out what Anders hasn't told her. The thought worms away at her mind. Anders doesn't bring it up again. So Dawn follows him to his car and climbs in the passenger seat before he can argue.

"Dawn?" His hand is holding the seatbelt halfway across is chest and his keys are still dangling from a finger.

"Do you think I should keep the baby? Is that what you meant earlier?"

Anders lets go of the seatbelt and turns to open his door. Dawn beats him to it and locks the vehicle. "I am sick of people thinking they know what I should do in this situation. Now tell me."

"You just said you're sick of it."

"Now!" She barks and Anders' face settles into anger.

"Yes, I think you're making a mistake. You obviously don't agree. I also don't think that it really matters what I say, because if I try to help you, you immediately change your mind and tell me to leave you alone. Which I did. Then today I asked you two questions. And this happened, so I guess I should just never speak to you again. But you still hate what I don't say, even though my opinion doesn't matter."

They both seethe, Anders gripping the steering wheel and Dawn trying to turn towards him in her seat. He's hasn't yelled at her. Anders anger isn't explosive, and she's seen him do damage without raising his voice. Flipping the console up, she turns and plants a hand on the dashboard to steady herself.

"Don't try to make yourself out as a victim. You don't even care about any of this. You don't care anything. But you're my best friend, the only person I have left. So yes, your opinion does matter. Excuse me for actually caring about it."

"Only person? People love you Dawn, all the time. You have a mother who loves you and friends who are probably wondering where you are. You want to know what it's like to have no one? Try a family that's either dead or hates you, and an assistant who follows you to your car to start an argument!"

"I just want you to tell the truth. But it's like pulling teeth with you." She can feel her blood rushing. "For some impossible reason, you're acting like you give a shit about me, and-"

"Because I do." Anders glares at her. "We might not be friends, but I need you around Dawn. And I'm worried that if you make the wrong choice, it'll destroy you."

Her adrenaline's up and she can't come up with anything else to say. She tells herself this later. But now, she grips Anders collar with one hand and pulls him into a kiss. It's awkward with her stomach and the way they're sitting. But she stops thinking about that when he runs a hand down her back.

She hasn't had contact like this in so long, and it feels good. Anders has her supported, and she leans into him. The inside of her thigh skims his leg once and her entire body reacts. It's nearly ready for her to fuck right there, and she remembers that they're in Anders car on a busy street.

But it's Anders that pulls away first. He takes in a breath and says, "You'll regret this too." It's sad and makes her heart clench, but at the moment is more distracted by the fact that she just had her tongue inside Anders mouth. Leaning back into the seat, she tries to catch her breath.

The best thing to do would probably be to go home and get some sleep. But she buckles herself in and smoothes down her dress. "I have real food at my house. We need to finish this conversation."

Anders doesn't respond while he starts the engine and pulls into traffic. When they reach Dawn's house he helps her out of the car and silently follows her. She has no idea when either of them is going to have something to say, so they might as well start with dinner.

She waits until Anders has his mouth full before saying anything. "You are my best friend, you know." He raises an eyebrow. "You're a horrible friend, too. But you're still the best."

"That doesn't mean you should take my opinion into count." He swallows. "I'm not exactly human of the year."

"I can think of a few worse." He lets out a short laugh at that.

"You don't know half of what I've done. If you were in your right mind, you'd have me institutionalized."

She lets that sit while she pushes her food around on her plate. Anders is right. There's so much in his life that's a mystery to her, and it still bothers her.

"You said you need me around." She's been holding onto that. No one's ever said anything like that to her. People have told her that they appreciate her help and that it's nice having her around. But you can say that to a complete stranger. It makes her feel interchangeable with a hundred other people. Anders needing her doesn't do that. It's about _her._

"Yeah." He spins the fork in his hand, similar to what he does with pens at the office. "You're good for me, Dawn."

To her horror, she starts tearing up. Anders pales and his hands hover over the table, unsure of what to do.

"It's okay. This has been happening a lot." She wipes at her face. "Yesterday I cried when I found my favorite cereal on sale. I think it's the hormones."

"They make you cry?"

"And eat a strange amount of peaches. And fall asleep at seven every night."

"You must be tired." He gestures to the clock on her wall. It's closing on six thirty.

"I'll be fine. I can go one night without ten hours of sleep."

She can't, it turns out. She insists that Anders stay for a little while to continue talking, but they end up watching the news while Dawn tries to keep her eyes open. She nods off at some point, and wakes to Anders shaking her shoulder.

"C'mon. I'll help you up."

He gets her on her feet and helps her to her room. When she opens the door, he starts laughing.

"Did you try to strangle someone last night?"

She swears at him and pulls open her closet. She can't remember the last time she didn't spend the entire night tossing and turning. She's still exhausted by the time that she wakes up, so she's stopped making her bed in the morning.

"No. Now go in the hall for a minute. You can help me fix my sheets, if you think it's so funny. And remember to lock the front door on your way out."

He's still laughing when he closes the door. Dawn squirms out of her dress and into an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. She's drowning in them, but they were the cheapest option and she'll still fit in them in three months.

Anders does most of the work to sort out her bed. The sheet and duvet keep getting caught on the top of her stomach when she shakes them out. Once the bed is made, Dawn sits down to let the weight off her feet.

She watches Anders come around to her. He pulls the edge of the blankets down further and grabs her ankles. He lifts them up onto the bed and returns the blankets. Dawn leans back into the pillows obediently. This is probably the first time he's gotten a woman into bed and not slept with her, she thinks.

Gently, he bends down and brushes his lips against her temple, next to the corner of her eye. She watches him turn off the light and close the door. But she's asleep before she can hear him leave the house.

In the morning, she feels invigorated. And she's slept like a rock, still lying where she fell asleep. When she gets into the office, she catches Anders into a half hug and presses their cheeks together, giggling when he makes a face and starts complaining.


	10. Chapter 10

This is bad. Anders has very few rules, but staying within a platonic relationship with his employees and clients is among them. Sure, he messed up once and it barely lasted a minute. And Dawn moved first. But he made it worse. He kissed her back.

His plan was to get her to forget about the entire incident and continue on as normal. Except within the first five minutes of the next morning she's had a complete turn around in headspace. She hasn't said or done anything outside of a professional relationship again, so he lets things be for now.

It doesn't last for long. It's not Dawn's fault. It's just that throughout the day, he starts noticing things about her. This evolves into thoughts that he should not be having. He has a rule that he will follow. He's fucked up enough things in his life, and he knows that if there is any kind of repeat of last night, Dawn's going to get shit on. He's not going to try to convince himself that he's a better person, because he hasn't changed enough. Not enough that he can have any sort of relationship. And if he could, he wouldn't try it out with Dawn first.

There's also the underlying guilt. Anders remembers all the work Ty has put into getting Dawn to acknowledge him, and barely gotten anything in return. Instead, he's alone in a car with her for five minutes and can pull her in to straddle his lap. He could The have just angled her back a bit and been able to push up against her.

That alone gets adrenaline going through his blood stream. He does what he can to stay focused on work and keep his body from reacting further. It's difficult when he's pretty sure the imprints from Dawn's fingertips are on the back of his head. A thumb right behind his ear and the wrist of the other hand sliding against his neck.

The strangest part, however, is that similar things happen during the most mundane actions. If he so much as makes eye contact, he's awake and alert.

It's annoying. This is not normal for Anders. He hasn't had an attraction to someone who wasn't interested in a long time. He can't even remember the last woman he had to chase. Not that he's chasing Dawn. So he shouldn't even be thinking about it. She's not interested in him and, he shouldn't be and isn't interested in her.

So it's all figured out. He'll stop being an idiot. And for now, he'll stop being Anders. Bragi is shuffling through the papers on his desk, so Anders just lets him take over.

The idea was that being pregnant and carrying around another body would destroy any lingering libido. But her body has proved her wrong. After the talk with Anders, her body has been ready to go. Repeatedly, because she talks to Anders and sees him when they switch papers and can smell the soap he uses.

It's a hassle she doesn't need. And she plans on staying celibate for the time being. God forbid she gets pregnant twice. It just gets worse at the end of the week. There's a part of her that wants to jump Anders immediately.

There's a confusing thing about it, though. She passes men on the sidewalk, in stores, out to get lunch. But she doesn't get the same reactions with anyone else. Even home, trying the fall asleep, she's more turned on. Her one night of good sleep was just one night. Now she spends an hour or two trying to get her mind to clear.

By Friday afternoon, she's made a decision. She'll spend some time with Anders and he'll be his usual self. Then she'll get over whatever this is. Cut it off before it gets out of hand.

When she levers herself up, she makes her way over to his desk and tries to get his attention. It takes a couple times of her say his name before he looks up, jumping when he notices her.

"You're eating lunch with me on Sunday. My house, because I'll never make it up your stairs." Finished, she waddles back around.

She's half sure that Anders just won't show up on Sunday. But she opens her door to find him shuffling his feet like a guilty child. He follows her to the table quietly, pushing in her chair when she sits down.

"So," he takes a sip of water, "I don't really know what I'm apologizing for, but I am sorry."

"I'm not angry at you."

"Oh." His entire demeanor brightens. "Then why insist I eat your salad?"

"It's a long story. I don't want to explain it right now." She toys with the edge of her dress. "Just eat lunch with me, and let me sort something out for myself."

It's a failure, in the end. The entire meal, she's trying to stay calm. Anders stays longer than she thought he would. She gets scared that if he doesn't leave, she'll mess up her life even more. And it doesn't help that he's nice to her. He clears the table and keeps his dirty jokes to himself. A couple times, it appears he has to refocus himself. It makes sense, considering the amount of people he would have a casual lunch with.

Her entire body is tense by the time she's alone. A hot shower helps a bit, but what she needs is to get everything out of her head. The best shot at that happening is having her head removed.

Whatever this is, it's going to ruin what she has left.

There's a week of Anders running around with his brothers. Their work ends up being a wild goose chase. He returns home to find that not much has changed. He's sure that Dawn has grown significantly since he last saw her, but he won't say anything. They've been strange around each other recently. He's trying to make sure everything remains strictly professional.

But it's a little hard when Dawn stares at him from her desk. She always looks like she's thinking about something, but he doesn't understand why she can't do it while staring at the wall or her thumbnail or anything not him. It's unnerving. She just won't stop. He tried staring back at her, but she didn't realize he was doing it.

Now he's stuck in a situation of trying to be in a normal human platonic relationship, but Dawn keeps creeping him out and he doesn't want to talk to her. Not quite what he would call fixing them.

It's also no help that she is adorable at this stage in her pregnancy. He though she'd be bordering on disgusting, having to carry a huge flesh-bag around. But she's actually kind of cute. She walks with one hand under her belly and has stopped wearing shoes.

"You're seven months, right?"

She snaps out of her stare and looks down. "Yeah. Almost done with this."

"Are you sleeping okay? Having weird problems that pregnant women get?"

"No." She pauses. "Just a little trouble sleeping, but it'll go away."

He doesn't know if he should bring it up. "Has Lance reappeared?"

Dawn clenches her jaw. She shakes her head and leans back into her chair. "It's better. A couple more months and he won't have any claim to it anyway."

He has nothing to say after that, but he wants to stay in this moment for a minute longer. So he just leans against the table and keeps watching her. Her gaze changes, and there's something in it he can't figure out. Most concerning, though, is how it makes him restless and charges the hairs on his arms with electricity.


	11. Chapter 11

It's getting late, but Dawn can't sleep because it won't stop moving. Little points of pressure on her organs, hipbones, and against the curve of her stomach. There have been short moment of this before, but she was largely able to ignore them. Now it's shoving its foot into her bladder and _she doesn't know what it wants._ She's eating regularly, not drinking or smoking, and going for all her check-ups. What more can she do?

Her busy mind isn't helping her sleep either. Anders was asking her question earlier, adding to the mess that she has to sort out with him. The more she thinks about that, the more the movements in her stomach speed up.

"Fine." She whispers into the room. "If I promise to address all of this in the morning, will you STOP MOVING?"

There are a few sweeps of limbs, then her stomach stills. Finally, she's able to sleep.

She may have not been speaking to a complete person, but Dawn is true to her word and intends to keep it that way. So she tells Anders that they are going to have another conversation. She has him stop at her house again, so she's on her own turf. It doesn't help as much as planned when he's sitting on her couch waiting for her to say something.

"First," she pauses, thinking. "You will never ask me questions about Lance again."

Anders nods, shoulders still squared back.

"Second, if I want to you to know anything about what is going on here," her hands circle around her belly, "I will tell you. No asking. Third, I have a proposition for you."

His eyebrows come together. "What?"

"If you agree, it is a one time thing. Neither of us mention it again. You bring it up at all, or attempt it again, I will destroy the company. You know I can, I'm in on every part of it."

"Whoa, whoa." Anders leans forward, one hand out. "You're threatening me, and I don't even know what it is you're talking about."

Dawn takes a deep breath. "One fuck to get the itch out of my system, that's it. You leave afterwards and forget it ever happened."

Anders doesn't say anything, but his mouth is slightly open. His eyes are slightly squinted, like he's trying to figure out a puzzle. After a moment, he clears his throat and slaps both hands onto his knees.

"Dawn, I don't know what point you're trying to make, but this is really weird."

"I doubt I could be less subtle."

"Well, my answer is no."

Dawn sits down on the coffee table in front of him. "All those women you talked into bed, and now that there's finally a willing participant, you develop morals?"

He at least has the decency to look ashamed. When Dawn catches his eyes again, she can tell that he's mulling things over. Then, he sighs and rubs at the center of his forehead.

"You won't use it as barter material or blackmail in the future?" At her look, he adds, "I've had some trouble in the past. Just making sure."

"It will be like nothing happened."

"Alright."

She all but leaps across to straddle him. At first, it's awkward because Anders isn't responding much. But eventually he lets go more and they're able to get off the couch. Anders gets her dress of much easier than she ever has, belly or not.

She's not sure how to go about this with the added waist. It doesn't seem to deter Anders, who is more concerned with their clothes at the moment. Every time their skin brushes, her nerves double the sensitivity. It doesn't seem possible for her body to more receptive, but then he skims his fingers up her thigh to _touch_ and proves her wrong.

Dawn lies still after Anders leaves. Her entire body is loose and relaxed. When she does move, it's to roll over. But she's asleep almost instantly. When she wakes in the middle of the night to pee, she feels like she's been resting for a week. The tension along her back has mostly disappeared and her teeth are hurting less now that she's stopped clenching them.

She remains completely professional throughout the day, and so does Anders. At moments, the atmosphere feels too impersonal, even for them. But this is what she wanted the office to be like since her first day, so there's no point in complaining. Anders goes through numerous phone calls and spends the remainder of his time typing and giving Dawn a few instructions. At the end of the day, he does not say goodbye.

The bar is bone dry, despite Anders continual searching. Axl, Mike, and the goddesses are arguing in the middle of the room while Olaf unhelpfully tries to think of more places for Anders to look. No one can decide on what to do next to find Frigg. All their leads have fallen through, and Ingrid's genealogy work is haltingly slow.

Anders almost told Ty about Dawn the moment he walked in the door. But he promised to never mention it again. Besides, what's one more secret?

His brother is sitting next to Olaf, watching the group go over the same ideas. Anders has a hunch that he's the only one Ty has kept contact with recently. When he arrived, Mike had made a type of remark usually reserved for Anders. Ty hadn't said anything, sticking close to Anders.

The family is falling apart every day. A rift if growing; half of them scrabble for a path to power and the other half try to stay human. If it comes down to choosing sides, Anders won't abandon Ty. He'd prefer to just take his brother, Olaf, and Dawn and get the hell out of Dodge if this goes nuclear. That's what his ancestors did over a century ago. The times got tough and everyone fled to the other side of the world. Mike would call him a coward. Anders thinks it's closer to protecting what's important.

Anders looks up from the cabinets to see Axl eyeing him. There's no warmth left. Anders wouldn't regret leaving his baby brother behind. Not when he's the greatest threat.

When he gets home, Anders opens up the small safe sitting in the corner of his closet. He pulls out the documents and takes inventory, then calls his bank the couple check what he has in his checking account. Next, he calls his lawyer and makes an appointment to get things in order.

Before he goes into the office, Anders stops at the bank as it's opening. He orders the largest amount of American dollars he can, figuring is the worst happens, it's a straight shot across the ocean. Australia is too close and Asia is too crowded to remain unseen.

Dawn doesn't look up as he enters the office. He knocks on her desk, drawing her attention. "Did the blueprint orders come in yet?"

"No."

"Are you okay?"

She frowns. "Anders, we had a deal."

"I know. I'm asking because your stomach is so big it's resting on your desk, and you were grimacing."

"I'm fine. " She backs up so her belly is hanging loose and rests her hands on her back. "It's just moving a lot. Can't keep a compromise."

"Really?" He crouches down to peer at the bump. "Does she, like, grab your intestines?"

Dawn sits down in the chair. "No. Just makes my body hurt more."

"Hm." Moving closer, Anders sets his coffee on the floor and balances himself. "Hey, there. I'm Anders, your mum's boss. But really, she does most of the work."

"What are you doing?"

"Having a conversation. Now, shush." He clears his throat. "As I was saying. I was jumpy when I was a baby too. Made my mum complain all the time. So I get it, you're growing some limbs and want to try them out. But sometimes, your mummy needs to relax, so that means you need to take a break with the acrobatics. Right?"

Unfolding from the floor, he scratches at his chin. "Um, that's all I have." Dawn is looking down. "Dawn?"

"It worked. I'm taking advantage of not getting kicked." She groans. "I was."

"Well, have fun with that." He grabs his coffee.

"Nope. Keep talking."

"About what?"

"I don't know. Anything. It's probably used to you blabbing on. Usually, you never shut up."

Anders grabs for words, talking about the clients, his fish, Ty, the last time he tried to get his hair cut. Eventually he gets Dawn seated on the couch with some paperwork so he can go over things at his desk. He's not paying attention to what he's saying, exactly. He's focused on events and contacts, while his mouth is running. Dawn stops him while he's in the middle of correcting some prototype advertisements.

"I think you can stop, now. It's almost lunch." She closes a few folders. "You've been talking for hours."

"You're going to be fine, then?"

"Yeah." She hovers for a moment. "Want to get something? You can watch me eat three meals in a third of my usual time."

"Well, how can I turn down that offer?"

Jesus, she's hungry. Anders is watching her from across the table while she inhales the food. Moving around takes so much out of her, plus she might as well have a tapeworm for the amount that this thing is eating. When she finishes, Anders pushes what's left of his sandwich over and wipes his hands with a napkin.

She eats that too. Anders glances at his phone when it rings, but doesn't answer. He shakes his head when Dawn starts to ask. Whatever he wants.

Anders talks during the afternoon, too. Dawn didn't know that many words could be in one person. He just keeps going, one subject blending into another. A couple times, stories slip in. He mentions people she doesn't recognize, and some of it seems fantastical. But he keeps her stomach still, so she listens with half an ear while editing press releases.

He helps her back into her shoes before she leaves, and pulls her up from the couch. She turns to leave, but Anders still has a grip on one of her hands. When she looks back, he presses his lips to her cheek, hitting the high point just under her eye instead of the hollow. Then he drops her hand, fingers tracing hers. Looking at his back, she's suddenly worried that he's preparing a farewell.


	12. Chapter 12

True to herself, Dawn's mother calls at the worst possible time. Dawn is pacing around her living room, waiting for the kicking to stop. When the phone rings, she spaces her feet apart to bend down and slide it off the coffee table.

"Hello?"

"Great, I caught you. How are things going over there?"

"Fine." Dawn can already feel her blood pressure rising. "I'm actually busy with something right now. Can I call you back?"

"This won't take very long. I need you to send me copies of anything the doctor's office gives you. It can't be too much longer now, and they always underestimate their drugs."

"Well, the doctors are more qualified for these things than you, so I'm going to go ahead and trust them." Absently, she rubs at her back. "Was there anything else you wanted?"

"I really don't like you going over those things by yourself."

"I'm not." The quicker Dawn can get out of this conversation, the quicker she can go back to stopping the kicking. "I have a friend look over everything to double check. So it's fine. I'm fine. And I really do need to get back to something, so I'll talk to you later."

"I'll be sure to call. Take care."

Dawn tosses the phone on the couch, watching it come perilously close to disappearing under the cushions. Gingerly, she eases down next to it and brings her feet up. Anders has been good with talking while they're at work, but once she's home she can't get a break. Sometimes she's able to get it to stop by playing music, but it reacts best to Anders' mindless babble.

She expects to be able to get some work done when she goes into the office, but Anders tells her he has an important errand to run and leaves her with a low table pulled up to the couch and a promise of returning in an hour or two. She manages to work for some time, but then she's reduced to sitting still and waiting.

She's surprised when Axl shows up. She hasn't seen the youngest Johnson brother in a long time. Whatever reason he has for showing up again, she has a feeling that Anders has done something to annoy his family. Axl's face is reminiscent of Mike's when he would barge in to argue.

Axl takes in the empty desk and Dawn on the couch. "Where is he?"

"Don't know. Said he'd be back sometime today, so you're welcome to wait."

Unlike himself, Axl frowns and growls through his teeth.

"When he gets back, tell him he needs to be at Mike's bar."

Axl's already retreating when Dawn remembers the edits due at the end of the day. "He might not be able to make it. Most of this stuff needs his signature."

"It doesn't matter. Make sure he's there." Dawn hasn't heard Axl sound gruff. When he interacted with Anders and his other brothers, he always appeared the goofy baby of the family. Dawn hadn't thought anything of it when Anders' bothers stopped coming in to see him. If anything it was a blessing, and kept Anders more focused. But seeing the other side of the separation challenges that. Dawn is entirely sure that whatever change has happened was good for the family.

He has to admit, Michele knows how to throw Mike when she wants. The four of them have been stuffed into a booth for a half an hour, and Anders brother had yet to show up. He had been reluctant to meet with them, mostly based on the fact that no one who wanted to meet Anders alone had anything good in mind.

After the waitress had set down their food, Stacey gave Michele a pointed look. "Are we going to just eat, or actually bring him in?"

"Into what?" Anders snags some of the appetizers. "You're not going to put a bag over my head and take me to an underground lair, I hope?"

"No." Michele glances at Ingrid, who nods. "It's actually about the search for Frigg."

That peaks Anders interest. He hopes it's some sort of good news. If it's anything less, his brothers won't be happy if they find out. Maybe that's why the goddesses are running it by him first. It's not like Frigg will be any help to him, being a minor god and all.

"You've got a lead?"

"We found her."

"What?" They're messing with him. That's why they haven't immediately gone to Axl. Why on fuck are they only telling Anders, in the corner of a backwoods diner?

"About a week ago. We wanted to make sure it was her this time."

"So why haven't you mentioned anything to Axl? He is Odin."

"Yes, well." Ingrid's hands flutter nervously. "There's a little bit of a problem with that. You see, both her brother and we are…reluctant to introduce her to Axl. Or Mike."

He understands, of course. Both of them are almost gone, completely overrun by the gods. Anders doesn't know if it's similar to how Bragi takes over his body sometimes, or if they've too have changed. If he and Ty are afraid to be near the other two, then there's more than enough reason to keep a stranger away, Frigg or not.

"So why are you telling me?" It's the only thing that doesn't make sense. He's had little contact with the goddesses on his own. "What do you expect me to do?"

"Nothing." Michele's eyes challenge him from across the table. "Unless we need you to."

"What we mean is that we need another person to watch over her, make sure nothing unfortunate happens." Ingrid tries to calm the waters. "We thought you would have more experience in keeping tabs without anyone finding out."

It's a polite way of saying he doesn't care about going behinds his brothers backs.

"What's in it for me?"

It's explained simply. Anders helps them, and they don't chop his balls off. It's ironic how much it reminds him of that night with the tranquilizers. Or it would be, if he didn't know that these three are much more likely at succeeding.

"Are there any plans to introduce her to Axl when he pulls his head out of his ass?" Anders waits for a waitress to walk by. "I get that it's a terrible idea right now. But things could change."

"She didn't seem too excited about ever meeting him actually. And we're not going to force her into anything."

"Alright." Anders considers the possible consequences if his brothers were to find out. But he already knows too much to come out of it without injuries, so he might as well go all the way. "I'm in. Who is she?"

Anders is back on time, surprisingly. Dawn had been nervous about Axl coming back, not knowing if he would be even stranger. She means to bring it up immediately, but Anders holds finger up while he closes the door and checks his phone. When he sits down next to her, she immediately lets some worries out.

"Axl was here earlier and acting strange. I thought about calling you, but I wasn't sure if I should."

He lets out a breath and turns his neck a few times, trying to get it to crack. "There's been some changes with Axl lately. If he comes here again, call me as soon as you can. Same goes for Mike."

"What about Ty?"

"Ty's fine. If he needs to talk to me, you can call me."

"Is everything okay?"

Anders rolls his head along the back of the couch to look at her. "Yes. Why?"

"Nothing."

Dawn returns to work and watches Anders out of the corner of her eye. He leans further back into the couch. When she turns back to get a better look at him, he looks asleep. She pokes him in the shoulder and he opens his eyes.

"Hm. Sorry." Hopping up, he picks up some things on the bottom of the work pile Dawn has and carries them to his desk.

Later, the door opens and when Anders looks up, he frowns. "Dawn told me you were here earlier." Axl comes in to stand in front of the desk.

"It's about family stuff."

Anders sighs. "Out in the hall." He ushers Axl to walk in front of him. Dawn can't hear anything, but when Anders comes back, she can follow the lines from his face down into his neck.

"Come here." She pats the couch. "I know you won't get any work done, so you might as well keep me company."

He falls down on the cushion, sunk low enough that his legs are stretched out in front of him. Dawn kind of wants to ask him to talk, just to make sure she won't get kicked. The last few days have been calm, so she's worried that it'll come back with a vengeance. But Anders is dangerously close to start drinking, and it's barely into the afternoon. It's not like he hasn't drunk even earlier, but Dawn would rather not be the cause of it.

He doesn't fall asleep, though he closes his eyes for a while. He sits up occasionally and works with Dawn on different accounts. But he mostly leans back into the couch and either dozes or watches Dawn. She figures he's just double-checking to make sure she doesn't make any mistakes. It doesn't make it any less unnerving. When she comes back from a trip to the toilet, she finally gets him into conversation.

"I have another doctor's appointment soon."

"Really?" She nods. "Would you like me to come?"

"No, thanks. It'll be short, anyway." She tries to get comfortable. "I'll just have to take an extra half hour on my lunch break for it. I was going to mention in earlier, but Axl kind of showed up, and…"

"Yeah."

"I know you said everything in fine. But I just want to be sure. Are _you_ okay?"

He looks up at her, hands stilling from picking at a loose button on his sleeve. He brings his hand up and brushes the backs of his fingers against her arm. "Yes." He looks away too soon, so Dawn knows that there's something he won't mention to her. So she just reaches over fix a few strands of hair, nails barely scratching at his skin, and returns to the computer.

"Thanks for worrying, though." He twirls the button on the last threads. "I know you've got enough on your plate."

"I can always make time." She knocks their knees together. " Besides, you talk all day just so I won't get a foot in my kidney. I can sacrifice some of my self-pity."

He laughs once. "I like it. I know you don't listen, but I like talking to you." The button snaps off from his sleeve. "And to your baby. But you're the one that actually understands words."

Dawn swallows, trying to ignore the fact that as of late, Anders is the only person who talks to her. But she's never bothered listening, even before this all started.

"Well, I'll be sure to pay attention when I can." She will, too. "So don't say anything stupid."

The appointment is short, thankfully. The doctor only has a few questions, mainly to check in and be sure the pregnancy is going smoothly.

"Is there anything you're worried about, or might think is unusual?"

"Not really." Dawn tries to get her legs crossed. "Just a lot of kicking. I can't get it to stop, but when my um – my friend talks, it calms down."

"That's quite normal. Babies become accustomed to voices while in the womb. They usually carry the comfort over to infancy. I wouldn't be too concerned. The kicking is a good sign. Means everybody is doing well."

Dawn forces a smile. Thinking about someone's baby wanting to hear Anders's voice puts a knot in her stomach. It shouldn't. Anders likes children much less than she does, and will be glad once Dawn is back to the office as one person. Still, there's a little part of her that's going to be disappointed when he doesn't spend the entire day talking to her.

When Anders finds him, Olaf is laying on the roof of his car, a towel rolled up under his head. The sun has long since gone down, and his Grandfather is blowing smoke into the night sky. When Anders gets closer to the car, Olaf leans up on an elbow to peer over the edge. He snags one of the beers Anders is holding and takes a swig. He climbs off the roof and opens the tailgate, so they can sit.

"This is about Axl and Mike."

Anders nods. "They're not them anymore. I know that the gods can control us at times, but it's been such a long time."

"It's not the gods doing all the work." Olaf tosses his empty bottle behind him. "They're changing. Becoming more like your father."

Anders doesn't say anything and drags his toes through the sand.

"They're going to forget you and Ty are important. But they have plans for power, which them twice as dangerous."

"Are you leaving?"

Olaf at least has the decency to look ashamed. "For a short time. Just making a fallback plan."

Anders knows that Olaf is capable of taking care of himself, but he still thinks back to the bag he has locked in his safe. He knows Ty has a passport, as does Dawn. But it would be difficult for Olaf to get one. Anders could call in some favors and get something within a couple weeks.

"How do you feel about going across the Pacific?"


End file.
